3 Ways Mediated Divorce is Better for Your Family

Mediated and litigated divorce are drastically different. Everyone knows that ending a marriage is hard, but how hard it is depends on how you go about it. There isn’t a single formula for getting divorced, and therefore you have some flexibility regarding how you go about it. However, the two main options, a mediated or […]

How “Wanting to Be Liked” Ends in Rejection

Do you long to be liked by others? Work hard on your friendships, try to be a good listener, try to be understanding and empathic — all in the hope that other people will like you more? Sadly, when all your energy goes toward pleasing others, you’re likely to get the opposite in return. How […]

Does Your Friendship Pass the Test?

Recently, I met up with one of my best pals. Like many old friends, we share a secret language, referring to events and situations with a single word or glance. A raised eyebrow, a sideways look, the phrase, “Tell me, are your bananas fresh?” and we erupt in fits of laughter as others look on […]

Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places? How to Break the Broken Heart Habit

By Sean Grover, LCSW Last summer, I attended a concert by a famed singer-song writer. When he took command of the stage, you knew you were in the hands of an old pro; someone who had spent a lifetime in the spotlight. But as the concert unfolded, I started to feel distracted; his many bows […]

The Holiday Survival Kit: How to Manage Your In-Laws

Why holidays are a financial bonanza for psychotherapists. If you adore your in-laws and delight in their company, consider yourself one of the lucky ones and read no further. But if the thought of spending time with your partner’s family has you activating your body armor and bracing for impact—then this article is for you. […]

Are You Attuned to Emotions?

The Secret World of Emotions & Attunement When your radio’s tuned properly to your favorite station, the broadcast comes in loud and clear. Without any static or overlap of frequencies, you relax and enjoy the music or the program. When your favorite love song is played on a well-tuned instrument, you’re delighted. You listen without […]

The Loneliness of the People Pleaser

When someone asks you a favor, do you readily agree and later regret it? Perhaps you say yes when you really wanted to say no? Afterward, do you feel victimized, lament your decision, or bemoan your fate? If you answered yes to the questions above, congratulations—you’re a people pleaser. You go out of your way […]

Why Do You Avoid Conflicts?

Conflicts are a Natural Part of all Healthy Relationships When faced with conflicts in relationships, do you suffer from the Triple A’s: apologizing, agreeing, and accommodating? Under pressure, are you more likely to compromise or hide your true feelings behind a tense smile or nervous laugh? And afterward, are you still fretting over the situation? […]

How to Resolve Fears of An Intimate Relationship

Spending too much time alone? Here are a few things to consider. Sure, an intimate relationship will improve your life—but did you know that it may also extend it? In an article in the New York Times by Jane E. Brody, “Forging Social Connections for a Longer Life,” study after study found that people in […]

Hate Me in a More Loving Way: Couples Guide to Better Arguing

The Ultimate Couples Guide Years ago, I worked with a married couple who never tired of yelling at each other. In fact, their full-throated shouting matches became legendary at the psychotherapy institute I worked at and earned me many complaints from my neighbors. Week after week, they tore into each other with such ferocity that […]