Do You Suffer from “Shame Shudder”?
You’re walking down the street, feeling great; the sun is shining, life is good. Suddenly, you recall something regretful you did. A jab of shame stabs at you; you shake your head and shudder in disbelief. “Why did that just happen? I was having such a good day!” You try to push the feeling away. You […]
3 Keys to Sustainable Happiness and Joy
Most people come to therapy because they’re disappointed in life. Things didn’t turn out as planned; hopes were dashed, relationships ended, careers stagnated. Is it possible to be happy when life doesn’t work out as you planned? How do you define happiness? While most folks would agree that happiness is a worthy goal, few agree […]
The Healing Power of Hate
The word “hate” provokes strong responses. Some parents forbid their children from using it; many religions preach against it. But what if hate isn’t the problem? What if the expression of hate can be helpful—and, at times, healing? Like every complex feeling, it’s not “hate” itself that’s the problem. What you do with hate determines […]
The Keys to Understanding High-Functioning Depression
The image most people attach to the word “depression” is of a solitary, lonely figure, despairing and downcast, silhouetted by a bleak landscape. We may wonder, “What happened to that poor soul?” Yet this image isn’t always accurate. On the surface, some depressed people appear to lead bustling, fulfilling lives; check out their social media, […]
What Is ‘Toxic Caretaking’?
Caretakers are a thoughtful and generous lot; ready to lend a hand, especially for a friend in need. Caretaking can appear generous: Need a ride to the airport? Someone to watch your pet? Want to borrow a few bucks until payday? No worries! The caretaker will be there. Empathic, loyal, kind, dedicated; what’s not to […]
3 Ways That Grudge-Dumping Destroys Relationships
Frustration is unavoidable in any relationship, particularly with close friends or romantic partners. The space between people will always be fertile ground for miscommunication and misunderstanding — and grudges. It would be unthinkable for even the healthiest intimate relationship not to experience intense frustration or hurtful moments. But before you read any further, take a […]
How to Transform Your Pain Into Something Beautiful
Sooner or later, we all face dark periods in our lives. Times when we feel alone and lost. Times when the simplest tasks, such as leaving the house, can feel impossible. As long as we are alive, there will be pain; grief, rejection, financial hardship, illness; the list goes on and on. Sometimes we experience […]