What does “setting healthy emotional boundaries” mean? No parent sets out to sabotage their child’s development. But when a parent fails to provide healthy emotional boundaries, they unwittingly cause lasting damage to their children’s ability to trust others and embrace intimacy. Separation, individuation As children mature, they naturally seek independence. From the moment they learn […]
Whether you see it coming or not, it doesn’t matter. You still feel devastated. When someone you love tells a lie to you, you may wonder if you will ever trust them again. Few things are as painful as a broken trust. (See “7 Hurts That Never Heal.”) The Essence of a Lie There was a […]
These days, simple tasks have become complicated. Face masks, gloves, and jars of hand sanitizer fill our coat pockets or line our closet shelves. Any discomfort caused by these burdensome new accessories is minor compared to catching or spreading the coronavirus. (See 0) With all information and warnings about preventing the spread of COVID-19, why […]
Recently, I met up with my roommate from college. Like many old friends, we share a secret language, referring to events and situations with a single word or glance. A raised eyebrow, a sideways look, the phrase, “What size are your bananas?” and we erupt into fits of laughter while others look on perplexed. I […]
Why do some couples remain madly in love, while others see love fade fast from their relationship? If you think those couples are lucky, think again. Luck eventually runs out. Short-term love is easy; long-term love requires dedication and commitment. But the benefits are mind-blowing. For example, loving couples in long-term relationships experience major health […]
Everyone knows that divorce is hard, but how hard it is depends on how you go about it. There isn’t a single formula for getting divorced, and therefore you have some flexibility regarding how you go about it. However, the two main options, a mediated or litigated divorce, are drastically different. I sat down with […]
Why do so many couples unravel while parenting? Why do so many marriages self-destruct? Of the kinds of parenting dilemmas I see in my office, parent burnout is among the most common and unrecognized. Remarkably, most parents don’t even realize they’re suffering from it. Ask these parents when was the last time they took a […]
When you see a happy couple walk down the street, do you feel a rush of resentment? Do such public displays of affection get on your nerves? Before we consider the cause of your resentment, consider this parable I share in my therapy groups that focus on developing healthy relationships. It’s about a bird stuck […]
Attitudes toward divorce are changing. When I was a kid, divorced parents were given the evil eye. Heads shook, tongues clicked; divorcees were home-wreckers, selfish and unloving, they destroyed children’s lives. Some churches banned them from services—apparently, even God wasn’t a fan. The message to married couples: Keep your marriage intact by any means necessary. Times […]
Do you long to be liked by others? Work hard on your friendships, try to be a good listener, try to be understanding and empathic — all in the hope that other people will like you more? Sadly, when all your energy goes toward pleasing others, you’re likely to get the opposite in return. How […]
